One girl and one boy is just not enough.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
