Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
