I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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