Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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