I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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