Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
