he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
