while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
