He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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