Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
