yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize