Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
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