Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
