You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
