Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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