Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
