mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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