I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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