I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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