I have demons in me.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
third nipple confirmed
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
We're too hungover to prance.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
