So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
