I wish you could order shots online.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize