so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
