his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
