if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Who died my cat blue again?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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