Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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