can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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