I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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