we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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