I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
you will always have a special place in my vag
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
