So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Randomize