I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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