In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
