I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I looked at my own cervix.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
