I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
