I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
