so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
