Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
But break dance skills will only take you so far
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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