i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Two words: nipple clamps
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