you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
