I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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