Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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