I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
She is in my trunk
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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