remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
