I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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