ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
