How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
