i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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