piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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