Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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