do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
