I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
