It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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