glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
