Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
