I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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