You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
