Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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