can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
