uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
