Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
