hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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