After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
