I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
