Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
