the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize